As the year draws to an end, I'd like to just spend sometime summarizing about the things/events that occurred in 2013. It is a testimonial, if you will, to what I have gained, lost, pursued, enjoyed and missed. So many incidents happened but for me, it is the lessons that i have learned that i hold dear the most.
Little over a year ago (or was it two??), I received a birthday present from a close friend who encouraged me to continue writing, whether in the notebook she gave or in my blog. She said this blog was inspiring, and gave her updates into my life while she was away. Dear Ria, I'm sorry for disappointing you thus far, I realized that I haven't written at all in 2013 (except for this particular entry). However, I hope you'd still enjoy this entry as well.
Thinking back to the events of 2013, 3 of my closest friends finally tied the knot. It wasn't easy, but they made it through anyway. Let's talk about R and F. Two individuals from completely different background and upbringing, united as one. They went through a lot just to be together. I have seen the sacrifices that they have made, all the long distance, all the struggles due to family objection. Basically they went through all the challenges that any couples in relationship could face plus the pressure from the people who were closest to you. R was very determined, and F supported her. They essentially supported each other, and looking back, their struggles paid off and they are living happily in a place where nobody could imagine. I talked to R a few months back, asked her a single question "Are you happy?", and she said (with her glassy and determined glance into my eyes) "Yes I am happy!". I am very happy for them.
The second couple who got married was A and A. Similar to R and F, they were a couple with different backgrounds and race. Their story is more of sacrifices after they tied the knot. Due to her husband being Caucasian and living plus working abroad, my good friend A had to move after her wedding. There, they were bestowed a beautiful baby girl, the cutest thing I've seen ever. I visited my good friend A, a month back to see how she was doing living in a different country with different climate, culture, and obviously absent of any close friends she used to hang out with, including the more fortunate lifestyle she used to lead. The lifestyle she led, in the native country of her husband, and I saw A in a different light. Despite the simple and constrained lifestyle (she was kind of immobile due to not having a license plus having a baby girl who takes up most of her time), she was indeed happy. A had to do housework, sometimes cooks, but all in all, she had to take care of her baby, not forgetting all the vices she had given up. It was a complete transformation from her part. Going from a house with gazillion number of maids, to doing things on her own. It was magnificent, I can only say that her maternal instincts truly kicked in and she changed. Out of curiosity, I asked her the same question "Are you happy?", without a doubt she replied "Yes I am truly happy!". At that moment, I knew that A had lived up to her decision and fought for her happiness. Congratulations!
The last couple who got married was D and A. Fortunately, I was given the task as a best man for this one. D, was my very good friend whom I met in college. The lesson that I've learnt from D was that you don't need to marry the love of your life, you just have to marry someone whom you can build a sustainable relationship with, someone who you can stand (duh!) and talk to even when he/she is pissed. Someone, whom you will be able to confide, and love despite a fight just a minute ago. A took care of the wedding (and I've mentioned this in their best man's speech). She took care of the bridesmaid, catering, hotel, decoration, EVERYTHING. And D, being who D is, took care of a simple alcohol purchases for the after party (D is very good with alcohol, so A decided to give D the task of handling what he knows best), which he eventually sub-contracted to me, thus leaving him with nothing else but to just show up for the wedding. LOL! Now, in their speech, i asked the audience what D took care for the wedding? I don't think anybody guessed correctly, but the correct answer was "D took care of A" since no matter how frustrated A was, D was always there to remove her pressure. D was there to buffer herself against the world that A have to face everyday, and for that I salute them. I haven't asked D if he was happy or not, maybe I will if they ever decide to quit their honeymoon/travelling sometime next year. Somehow I kind of anticipated that D will say "Sure, why not?" and A is definitely going to say "Yes, I'm happy!", but i'll try to ask just for the heck of it to see if I'm correct.
The lessons that I've learned out of these 3 marriages are actually quite simple. Sacrifices, patience, belief, and building a sustainable relationship. Neither of them walked away upon the threat of perils. Neither of them pulled out of their commitment. They have decided to be happy, and so they are en route to a lifetime of joy.
That being said, the lessons of 2013 has been learnt. Other things include hatred, and forgiveness. I am usually a man who forgets things easily, even the most important things. If you don't hurt me deep enough, be quite sure that you will escape from my wrath rather easily. I believe some people deserve second chances, actually most people, but 2013 has taught me otherwise.
I have been betrayed by my closest company this year. I've asked myself if i could find it in my heart to forgive, but to no avail. It is difficult for me to give a repenting opportunity to someone whom I used to hold so dear, and now is a total stranger to me. I refused to spend time, or look him/her in the eye anymore. I have put in my trust, faith and belief for that person to not hurt me, but he/she did anyway. Even after that, no apologies. No apologies for the mess he/she has caused, the life/lives he/she has ruined, and ultimately the scars that he/she have made for me and another person. I can't bring myself to think about being merciful and forgiving. This year, i admit defeat to trying to forgive this particular individual who have hurt me, and I condemn any attempt to convince me otherwise. To everyone else, I will start the new year of 2014 with forgiveness, and I hope you will forgive me as well.
2013 has been a fun year filled with travelling. To Paris, Bordeaux, Clermont-Ferrand, Brno, Venice, Prague, Dubai, Singapore, Bangkok, Yogyakarta, and Bali. I have spent some of the happiest (and sometimes drunken) days during these visits. To all my friends and colleagues, I salute you, thank you for the wonderful experience and beg for your forgiveness if I had done any mistakes in the past.
2014 will be a year full of challenges, and I have identified certain qualities that I need to fix. Including blogging. My writing skills have deteriorated so much. I will continue reading, writing and of course having fun with all my loved ones. Not forgetting to continue sharing what I've learnt.
Thank you 2013, you have been very kind. Now I look forward to 2014, to start afresh with new mindset and spirit.
